Resolving Abandonment Anxiety


— A report from Kellie Sletten

My daughter has struggled with feelings of being unloved and ignored ever since she was a toddler. I have used over a dozen Bach flower essences over the past two years and they made no effect on her emotional beliefs. I was introduced to FES flower essences three months ago and I have seen dramatic affects on my daughter. My daughter actually begged to have more and more of the Kinder Garden Flourish blend. She is feeling secure, doing well in school and feels confident in her love from mom and dad. I am amazed at how quickly and effectively the FES flower essences work!

My daughter is six years old now, but when she started to be able to express herself at age 5, when I reprimanded her for doing something she shouldn’t do, she would say things like, “You don’t love me,”“You don’t care about me” and “I wish I was dead.” She would also growl, put her fists up and “threaten” me. I couldn’t understand it and it frightened me; it is just the opposite, I am a good, loving parent and everyday, I tell her I love her.

I tried to figure out what was causing her behavior and bought thirteen Bach essences to try and help her emotional feelings, which didn’t do a thing.

Unresolved early feelings of abandonment

She slept in our family bed until she was eight months old, and it might be that when we moved her into a crib (right next to the bed), it was traumatic for her and she felt abandoned. She cried for three nights…

Also, she has been able to tell me now about an incident when she was two or three and I worked full time, and my husband was home with her everyday. Her father put her in her room when she had done something she shouldn’t and because she wasn’t able to open the door, she felt that her daddy had locked her in her room. She expressed feelings of great hurt and said to me, “I thought you would never come back.” Because of her age and lack of communication, she was not able to tell me about it at the time.

Processing and expressing feelings from the past

I am the assistant manager at a food co-op and not long ago we brought in the Flourish line of flower essence formulas. I spoke with Isadora Tavens (FES Midwest Field representative) who visited us and she recommended for my daughter the Kinder Garden formula. The first time I gave it to her, she immediately asked for it again. “Please, please, mommy, give it to me again!” I didn’t know if it was alright to give it to her more often than what the directions indicate, but Isadora said that I can give it to her as often as she asks for it.

Now, my daughter is not saying that we don’t love her and don’t care for her. Her behavior has changed; when she’s reprimanded, she does not growl, she understands what we’re telling her and why. I feel the formula has helped her to process and to express what happened in the past. However, she is more “clingy” now and “wants mommy” all the time—and I’m using Mariposa Lily for that.

Helping the child to feel alignment with and protection from the spiritual world; counteracting hardening and materialistic forces that stymie the child’s spiritual identity
Soothing and calming for the emotional center (solar plexus) of the child; harmonizing fluctuations in the feeling life, poor sleep or fickle appetite
Pink Yarrow—
Providing clarity and definition for diffuse boundaries or an overly-porous sense of self; integration of the child’s natural sensitivity with appropriate containment and centering
Inner security and emotional freedom; counteracting negative attention measures, neediness or tantrums; re-directing psychic currents of energy to build heart forces that give and receive freely
Mariposa Lily—
Helping the child to receive nurturing and love; especially bolstering the mother-child bond and healing birth or family-related trauma
Encouraging the pure light of the child to shine forth; helping feelings of self-doubt or low self-esteem that diminish the natural radiance of the child
Downey Avens—
To help ground the mental consciousness of the child so that it remains in vibrant harmony with core feelings; thinking which develops through the avenue of the heart and moral perception; soul healing for Attention Deficit and related disorders
Read more about the 12 Flourish Formulas


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